The Character challenge

Sarah, curse, bless her now, with your fierce tears I pray, laid this upon me. And WordPress ate the first attempt. I hope it has indigestion, heartburn, and the runs.
1.) What is the name of your character?
Gollum, Gollum…. The hard questions first. Always the hard questions first. Like those tricksy exams ‘Write your name here.’ Why do they want to know? And how do you expect me to remember guff like that? My mind is too highly trained for it. Hmph. I shall write of one of my favorite characters, Bolg, P.I.

2.) Is he/she fictional or a historic person?
Both, of course. Well, historical and fictional. He is definitely male, and has been for 1800 years. None of this he/she nonsense for Bolg. He’s seen these fads come and go, and has no patience with them. He’s a Pict. He’s also a dwarf -as in having the medical/genetic condition which makes you taller than him. He does not take well to being called vertically challenged or any of these other stupid PC euphemisms. He’s quite accustomed to establishing respect, and he has a 9mm argument which prejudices find most convincing. Oh and he’s a person of color. That color happens to be blue, and tattooed onto his skin. You have problem with that? Did I mention his little argument? He has been known to help problems out of a disagreeable individual’s far ear.

3.) When and where is the story set?

As it is urban fantasy, the story is set in the small city of Urban, in flyover country. It’s a place with far too high a population of fairies, witches, werewolves, trolls and other magical creatures, at least from Bolg’s perspective. He barely tolerates one, and that one is Fintan Mac Bochra, who is either an ancient sorcerer or a theoretical physicist. Probably both, and definitely older than dirt, which the old reprobate usually has a lot of about him. As to when, somewhere in n-dimensional space it is happening right now.

4.) What should we know about him/her?

As little as possible. When you have put off dying for 1800 years, you’ve also learned that attracting attention to this fact always causes problems. And anyway, as a Private Investigator he knows that being unobtrusive is important. In the centuries that have passed since he never got around to dying, Bolg has done most things, especially the ones that keep people a long way off. Work with sewers has that advantage, and he’s done a fair amount of it, even if it does smell. He’s even done some Kinging, but like most forms of politics the stench of that was quite nauseating. Maybe you need to know he likes very strong coffee, but that did not stunt his growth.

5.) What is the main conflict? What messes up his/her life?

Clients. Or the lack there of. Being four foot nothing and blue seems to put them off, except for the paranormal ones, which he’d rather avoid. Alas, it’s them or nothing, and the problem in the first Bolg tale is a wealthy client who wants to dance with the fairies. Now most Private Investigators would put that down to yet another loony client. Bolg does too, but that’s because he knows the fairies. He knows that no one in their right mind has anything to do with a species that everyone is most carefully polite about, for good reason. You wouldn’t want the murderous, thieving nasty little creeps to take offense, or even notice you, if you can help it.

6.) What is the personal goal of the character?

Staying alive, and getting paid. It’s a noble goal, one shared with Bolg by many nobles. He’s long since given up on character growth. He last did any growth about 1690 years ago, and it’s not likely he’ll start again.

7.) Is there a working title for this novel, and can we read more about it?

Bolg, P.I.: Away with the Fairies is the first one – it’s a novella. There are another two. I plan to write up some more of his case-files, and spin
them into a book. When I get around to it, in that ample spare time WordPress doesn’t eat.

8.) When can we expect the book to be published or when was it published?
Last year some time. I do a lot of books and stories. Heaven knows when the next will get there.Tell me you love it, and it might be sooner.

And I’m tagging Peter Grant – Peter is not very good at singing his own praises, so I will – He writes some very fine Mil SF and will be a big name, one of these days, and long after I am forgotten. I can recommend his latest book, War To The Knife (Laredo War Trilogy Book 1)

Peter Grant was born and raised in Cape Town, South Africa. Between military service, the IT industry and humanitarian involvement, he traveled throughout sub-Saharan Africa before being ordained as a pastor. He later immigrated to the USA, where he worked as a pastor and prison chaplain until an injury forced his retirement. He is now a full-time writer, and married to a pilot from Alaska. They currently live in Tennessee.

See all of Peter’s books at his author page, or visit him at his blog, Bayou Renaissance Man, where you can also sign up for his mailing list to receive a monthly newsletter and be kept informed of upcoming books.


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Countdown special – crawlspace and other stories.

will be on a countdown special – discounted from $4.99 to 99 cents at 8 AM Amazon time (I think that’s Seattle) and increasing in one cent increments over the next four days. Get it now while it is cheap!

Two Rats Bats and Vats stories (a novella, and a novelette) another great ‘Pirates of the future’ story and some others

Cheap as chips

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Stardogs – which is my first full length adult novel released independently (meaning I didn’t get the quarter page of editorial input I normally do, and will get 70% of the cover price instead of 20% and I’ll get it in 2 months time and not may 18 months, and the accounting will be 100% real-time transparent and not never-to-be-revealed) has just gone up on Kindle. It’s an experiment – I can write a lot faster and more than the traditional publishing industry is prepared to buy ( a lot of waiting, proposals, rejections, approval, and finally writing… and waiting for feedback and of course money, a process I am not at all in control of. I’m not a control freak (well, not too bad, um. Compared to Eddie the computer on the Heart of Gold) and I don’t have great skills in cover design and editing and proofing (but I can get work for hire), BUT I care. It’s my book, I care. I do not let it go out of print when the sequel comes out. I do not forget to get on the shelf, or not bother to make much effort. And if I do… it’s me. I can deal with that. The opposite situation has driven me nuts. Well, nuttier than I was. It might even drive me out the other side into sanity (which would demand giving up this silly Science Fiction and Fantasy writing forthwith. And we don’t want that do we? Why the world might be a better place. I have a duty to do!)

Anyway: the book – It all comes down to this really…

“Given the right conditions any human can become dangerous. After all, you can hammer in nails with a banana, if you dip the banana into liquid nitrogen first.”
Obliterating a Prince: Nicola Para-Machiavell

And if you want to buy it and give me an extra few percent without costing you anything – go via clicking the picture which is the link. At the moment I am pricing it at $3.99 which is cheap as chips for slightly longer than average novel, by yours truly. Would I lie to you?


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New Zealand reporting in

Hi guys, I am just done with Conclave two – and suffering from con-fusion. It was great con, and I learned a great deal about foreign Antipodian parts. I’ll do a full report next week when I not borrowing access and a computer.

Think about the implications of being the country that hits new year first… otherwise bicker among yourselves :-)


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A Colonist Species

My agent O’Mike was suggesting on twitter I write a colony planet / McGyver survival story:

I live on a remote island, a mountain in the sea which was once colonised by Australian Aboriginals (and please, let’s not start language-bashing. You know what I mean, and it is the local term used by the local people of part Aboriginal descent. If there is one that pisses me beyond measure it’s the needless ideological offense seeking by the gung ho PC rent-seekers, where no offence was meant, and none taken by the people concerned) when there was a land-bridge (when sea-levels were lower) from Mainland Australia to Tasmania. It must have been a fairly bleak place then, with where we now live on being the cold, snowy high-lands, probably hunted on, if most of it wasn’t too cold and bleak. Sea levels rose, and the human population, if they remained, died out – either in a cold/drought period or as result of the population being to small, or of starvation. Maybe we’ll know one day, but there is little appetite and even less money for research: this all happened thousands of years before ‘white’ colonists arrived. When they did arrive, there was no other human living here, and they carved out a living for themselves (sealing first, farming later) and took/traded (this is from Grease and Ochre, written by one of the Aboriginal descendents, Patricia Cameron. Worth reading, and not your usual at all) wives from the aboriginal population on Tasmania, and possibly Victoria. In the attempt to ‘do the right thing’ there are records of the British authorities taking these women back… only to have them return. We will never really know precisely why. You can reach your own conclusions, which will almost certainly be at least partly wrong. All I can say as hunter-gatherers, life was not long, and food was uncertain, and women had shall we say, all the fun, as they got to collect all the shellfish. It’s process which I know is wet and cold wearing a lot of neoprene, with a towel and warm dry clothing, not a fire and some skins. Everytime I hear ‘wound back all the gains of women’s liberation’, I’d like to sentence the speaker to a week’s worth of living as a woman back when a sealer’s hut was comparitive luxury, or indeed to the norms of a woman’s life in much of pre-European colonial Africa.

It’s green place now, with good grasslands, and millions (and I mean millions) more animals than it supported before settlement and farming, both native and introduced (it was almost entirely forest, it’s now around 40 % forest) It probably has less birds (although some have done exceptionally well as result of the pasturage) and certainly less fish. For a while at least it was one of the last wild frontiers of Australia settled.

Some of its natural treasures have been lost – a large area of swamp/lagoon land was cleared for soldier settlers, and some areas of old growth temperate forest are gone. Neither are gone completely, and the Cape Barren Geese, the Wallaby and the possums have thrived on human interference.

I know a little about carving out a life from the bush, nothing compared to those sealers, or indeed the first humans to cross that land-bridge. My father spent his formative years as a part-time hunter-gatherer in the mountains of Basotholand. He’d get home from the boarding school I also got sent to, probably from the age of about 8, sneak into my grandfather’s trading store, steal as many cartridges as his pockets could carry, a bag of maize meal, and get onto his pony and ride off to join his friends, the herd-boys, who watched cattle up on the high mountains 6-8000 feet in all weathers. When school time or some big event rolled around my grandfather would send out a message to him, by telling the nearest MoSotho man. My mother’s family have some Khoi-san hunter gatherer in them somewhere down the line, and anyway boer trekkers who couldn’t live off the land, died. This was how my family saw the land and the people in it. We’re part of it, and it of us. The bush was my playground, the sea my world. The city/suburbia something I had to put up with and escape as fast as possible. I started diving when I was… hell, I dunno. ?6. Just puddle jumping (the shallows at low tide), collecting sinkers, while my older brother dived for spiny lobster, but I caught my first when I was twelve, and had swum a few hundred miles by then if you added the water time together. I learned to find octopus and collect shellfish, and catch and clean fish before I could write. I remember going to the docks where my dad was working on the boat, and losing my dad’s knife into the harbour, and going in after it as pre-school brat – lucky not to drown. It’s in my blood, in my instincts, in my rearing. I know it and love it. TV Survival programmes tend to make shake my head a lot…

One of my favorite, and probably most formative sf books was Jack Vance’s BLUE WORLD – which is both a very clever satire (that floated right over my head when I first read it at about 8 or 9) and a book about carving out a life on an ocean world – where there is no land at all, and the crashed spaceship survivors/colonists live off the sea on vast drifts of floating seaweed, in an environment where there are no metals. The story is about King Kraken – a squid-like native life-form that has become used to terrorising and being appeased by the ‘settlers’ and the social battle to get resistance going, when most of the settlers would rather continue to appease and deify the creature, and finally to kill the creature. (yes, I don’t think it could be published today). For me, the kraken was interesting, but the real fascination was how Vance had his characters do a Robinson Crusoe/Swiss Family Robinson with the materials on hand.

Yes, I could write something like that. But we’re a species in conflict with our own nature and origins and although I do think it may come around, a great deal of baggage has been attached to the whole concept ‘colonist’.

Which is really really really bizarre.

Because that is what we are, what our species is evolved to do best.

Denying it is like being an anteater that refuses to eat ants. Never healthy, and not destined for success…

Of all the species on the planet – and there some very tough, very adaptable ones, we’re the vertebrate species (that remain one species) probably native to some valley (or swamp) in Africa, that has spread widest. We’re not native to America, or Australia, or Europe, and probably not Asia either, unless by ‘native’ you’re meaning born there. The best claim any human can have to almost place is ‘we colonised this place before you’ and the truth there tends to be one of invasions and takeovers by different nations, tribes, clans, families – pick a name/group. Sometimes it was more-or-less assimilation, more-or-less peaceful. Mostly it wasn’t. Some group ended up on top. The genetic record is un-arguable on this – few male lines, many female. Before very recent times, that means this happened by the same method as most simian troops address power change/territory capture – by killing the males, and taking the females, by force if they dared resist. We know from wife-stealing cultures and their history that where this was a cultural norm, they may not have. (yes, those gains of women’s liberation which all are destroyed because some poor fellow called someone a lady. Shock horror. That’s what ‘backward’ really means.) Slavery – where the conquered foe was not killed outright – was a step up, horrific though this may be to us now. Allowing that slave to live, ungelded, and breed… that was liberlism, once. Times and standards and mores change. I am biased, I think for the better, most of the time, but there are ups and downs. But we are what we are, and it is so much part of evolutionary make up that if humans stop colonising – stop changing hostile environments to suit themselves (most urban planning is ‘colonial’ behavior. So is planting flowers or mowing your lawn.) we will rapidly die out.

And actually I think that would be a bad thing.

Yes I know. Very un-PC! Humans bad, male humans badder, male heterosexuals worserer, and if they’re white and old unspeakable scum due to pay for their sins. If we can leave the idiocy for a moment, the difference – as I got at in Dragon’s Ring, humans can destroy… They are also unique (at least on this planet) in that they can think plan and save, not just themselves but many other species. Sooner or later we will have another VEI 8 event. Sooner or later there will be a major asteroid impact. Sooner or later – whether humans are here or no, climate will change catastrophically. Unless you’re a brain dead parrot, with the channel stuck on PC, you can’t conclude major extinctions are GOOD if caused by ‘natural’ causes, and BAD if caused by human intervention. And realistically, short of direct divine intervention, or benevelonet aliens, we’re it for an amelioration force.

Which kind of means the world has to put up with us colonists and messes we make.

The trouble is, if you’re a rent-seeking PC guilt farmer, and not merely wanting everyone to have the same fair shake as the next feller… and you admit that everyone is descended from a bunch of colonialists who plundered and wrecked… merely thinking they were trying to survive, and by-in-large behaving according to the mores of their time and place, you’re toast. In other words admiting that wicked colonialist was as much a decent an individual as Ms. J Average is today, and there goes your claim for special treatment, privilege, getting onto that TOC, onto the top of the slush pile, getting that arts grant, getting that promotion, getting that…

And the defenders of that priviledge and their coiterie of camp-followers (the same ‘fashion’ followers who denounced their good neighbours to the STASI as traitors, who in an earlier age said so-and-so was actually a Jew, who found reds in foreign names, and now join the PC witch-hunts) are shrill, nasty, and quite capable of destroying jobs and lives. They’re quite capable of poisoning the internet, and will slam publisher doors if you give them a soft target like ‘Colony’, because that has become code for all that is evil.

The evidence is out there – not in rewritten history books, but in the letters and even newspapers, and written in harder to re-write facts like genes — most of those who colonise – whether it is Abdul leaving near starvation in Niger today in the hopes a better life in France, or whether it was Fritz leaving near starvation in Dusseldorf for America in 1840… or the clan of Australians moving across the Bass strait land-bridge 15000 years ago, they were just human. Good, bad, indifferent, mostly by their standards not intrisically nasty. And the things they face/d took courage, endurance, and were often their personal idea of utterly awful.

They’re colonists. Great stories to be told. People worth remembering and respecting, people who did their best and were often very brave and generous – sometimes to strangers who they thought terrifying, who did and would kill them. And sometimes they killed them instead. They knew hunger, despair, sadness — to scales that are hard for the urban camp-follower of PC to ever fathom. They carved out a life in a place that might seem a beautiful pristine habitat that they destroyed in the process… if you are sitting warm, comfortable and safe in your modern city – the legacy those brave folk left you, so that you could spit on their effort and sacrifice from it.

And Mike wants me to write about it.
Yes. Well. Maybe. It ought to be done.
But why me, Lord?


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What if they gave an apocalypse and no-one noticed?

I was reading a rather depressing piece on the world economy, rather stating what I felt, that we’ve been steadily mortgaging more and more of tomorrow to fritter away today. Politicians and bankers contintinue to kick the can ahead, hoping for a miricle…

I’m not really a doom-n-gloom man, believing there is enough, believing we can via technology and just plain old common sense (rarer than technology) solve most things, if teh stupid is kicked out of play, which, to be fair doesn’t happen often. But I do think we may be in for a bumpy ride, and that things need to rebalance – quite a lot in some areas. I’d guess on Sir Terry Pratchett being right again (in Dark side of the Sun) and we’re going have to hit a full-circle where consumption – or at least conspicious consumption, and any display of wealth is the road to a lampost and a short rope.

There’s a belief that mankind always progresses… hmm. It’s not really up to robust examination. We accumlate knowledge and material, and that makes it easier to build up, even on the ruins of the empire before. But there are surely some deep troughs, and my own feeling is we’re nose-diving toward one now, even as our governments discuss the importance of vital matters like gay marriage (who cares? Not me. They want to marry, go for it. Stick by the same rules as everyone else and tiny minority (maybe 2% of the toal population) will be gay and married. So what?) I’m a lot more interested in stuff that affects 95%. I want to eat, have my family eat, be safe and have my family safe, have reasonable medical access, and reasonable liberty for them.) I would also put a very high likelihood on the rise of nationalism and the rise of various forms of racial and ethnic discrimination within those nations. The brightest buttons on the PC heirarchy of benefits for historical injustice (‘my grandma was a victim and you owe me’) should work out that now is the time to be calling for equalisation, rather than demanding even more payback and more special conditions, or as the wheel turns, it will be reversed again. It’s not something I want to see, but I see it building. I’d also put a fairly high set of odds that the standard bottom of the PC scapegoat pile is going finally get to saying ‘well, if I get treated like an oppressive, racist, chauvinist sexist no matter what I do… I might as well be one’. (I saw this with a number of historically generous, tolerant white South Africans, who had made huge efforts to be good to black South Africans during apartheid, a decade after the end of it… and being lumped on the basis of skin color as villians, become, slowly but steadily the inverse of what they had been – which is survivable when they’re a small, weak disarmed minority, even though it has cut 20% off SA’s growth and hurt everyone, IMO, but even less clever if you’re the small weak minority, and they’re bigger, stronger, and a large percentage). I support equality before the law and of opportunity, but there’s a sort of ‘kick a dog often enough and you either kill it or it will turn on you’ inevitiblity to this. Stupidity has to be evolution in action, or just gets worse, and we’ve been rewarding teh stupid in PC circles for a long time.

Personally I wouldn’t be in the least surprised to see the upper 1 percent pushing a sort of Shavian socialism — where they continue to be very comfortable and wealthy, and make decisions as to what the proles can do. For their own good, of course. It’s not really sustainable, as they run out of other people’s money, and no one is going to touch theirs. And it won’t work terribly well, because the doer’s who are less in number than the I-wanters will do their damndest to John Galt, and without them the 1% of lawyers and politicians and bankers and heads of corporations actually can’t make anything or grow food. It will head into little dictatorships, and uprisings against a bloody mess… And actually the mess will favor not the civilized but the people from nasty spots. I’d rather this wasn’t a future, but I’m a realist. I know that in that sort of war, the primitives win, because we are not Saxons conquering England.

The semi-best scenario is a sort of muddle on, confiscate savings (A la Cyprus) and the political elite-at-present will shift their faces around to become anti-emigrant, anti-this and anti-that, intolerant and rather miserable, but still in charge. The best – from my point of view – isn’t going to happen. The sort re-evaluation and everyone cuts their cloth a bit, and the international financiers settle for a holiday in Florida in a nice hotel instead of a private motor yacht on the Costa Smerelda, with GINI co-efficient getting a lot narrower as we re-align our consumption and society to fit what we’ve got and what we’re actually worth, is just too sensible, and won’t happen.

Still, the various folk commenting – it was an economics article and not particularly any political slant, were saying stuff like ‘a month’s worth of cans…’

And I was laughing to myself. That may help if everything stays very ordered and recovers fast (more so than in most natural disasters), but really it’s not effective. Space, distance from the cities, some dry goods and the skills to grow and catch your own, and good neighbours with skills and the ability to defend yourselves are all that could. History shows what to do, and those who don’t learn, repeat, or die trying to.


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Flinging the POD

So there is this Podcast – in which Sarah and I both chatter

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